Seven's Heaven
by The Dark Graven
Summary: A change of character can alter an entire story, a hero can change from the most hated, to the most adored, but as with everything, adoration has a price. Naruto cross  But it's a secret
1. Turn on the Road

Disclaimer: All rights belong to their respective creators, were merely barrowing the characters for a bit of fun ^_^

AN: Alright, I know I'm going to irk a few folk that are waiting for an update for some of my other fics, and I'll just say now I'm working on them, the last month was a bit nutty for me, so I've been more writing random fun bits as of right now, this, and a oneshot (Could be more if folk like it).

Now this fic is a variation of another idea I have, one that Dark Graven and I have tweaked and opted to work on together, as it stand were going to try and post this story in pairs of chapters, one for each of us with each update.

To that end he and I will have the same story posted under our accounts so we can both get the reviews, so for those that like the fic then please, if you review, copy it and post it to the other one as well! It will mean a lot to us ^_^

AN: Seven's Heaven

Chapter 1: A Turn in the Road

Chains rattled.

Whetstones ran along steel.

Ropes are coiled.

Nets are gathered.

"Now is the time…" A murmur ran through a crowd. "We have waited long enough!" The murmur grew, "Today will mark the end! We have the equipment, we have the plan, today, ANBU cannot stop us!" The murmur became a dull roar, "_Today, we will have his body tied to a rack! For us all to enjoy!_" The roar became joyous.

"**Everyone!**" The voices went silent, a grin formed on a young woman's face, "**Good hunting!"**

It was something of a normal day for one Naruto Uzumaki

That meant he was running.

Be it if he were late to class, or off to get food, he was always running, it's what let him become the fastest of this year's ninja hopeful.

He was hoping that would save him today.

Their chants were growing, it was always the same, _'Come out, come out, we want to play!' _

It was always the same, a massed mob with bindings and blades, spreading like a flood through the village streets. He could feel the gazes from the roof, both friendly and otherwise. The horde's spotters and ANBU alike. Heavy footfalls muffled by the chants.

Two were watching from far above, pale blue cloaks laced with white hiding their forms and faces, the coloration letting them be almost invisible to those that may look up.

"Do you think he'll make it this time?"

The voices was odd, heavily distorted by barely contained lust, but for what is something only the bearer knew.

"Perhaps…though he is only delaying the inevitable…"

The first's voice seemed to titter, "Yes, but it's that struggle that makes the payoff all the better, isn't it?"

The second laughed as well, "True, very true, those that struggle to the very end are always the sweetest…"

The two's attention was drawn back to the little orange blur that dashed through the village streets, the sight more than a little amusing to the pair.

It was all a matter of time…

'_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!' _he jagged down an ally to the right, deftly springing onto a dumpster and leaping over a fence, rolling and leaping back to his feet. It was done with such grace and coordination that it almost looked choreographed. _'Why does this always happen! The past few years it's only gotten worse…maybe…maybe it's time I…'_

His thoughts were cut off as he spotted a second group ahead of him, skidding to a halt he looked around, desperate for a chance to escape. Faces appeared from the rooftops, the alleys seemed to swarm with movement, the streets filled behind and in front as glints of metal and glimpses of rope caught his eye.

'_I suppose this is punishment for wanting to give up, eh, Ragna-sensei…Okay then, it's time to stop running.' _As they moved in Naruto snapped through three quick hand signs, "Bushin no jutsu!"

A voice with a deep, somehow dark quality ran through his head, _'So what if it's hopeless, if it were me I still wouldn't give up…'_ With a ram sign he and the clones were covered in smoke.

'_Ragna-sensei…'_

'_Embrace your dreams, and whatever happens…move forward.'_

He let a small smile cross his lips, "It's time to stop hiding…" All three Naruto's gave a sharp gesture to the right, their arms ram-rod straight, the sudden force and raw speed of it dismissing the smoke in an instant, and causing a gasp to ripple through the mob.

There three blonds stood, but where once he was a short blond wearing horrible orange now stood a figure that sent chills through the gathered throng.

His hair was long, reaching almost to his calves and pulled into a thick braid, the ends of it left a little loose but tied in a scrap of thick, maroon cloth. An odd, wide brimmed black hat with trim matching the cloth in his hair, one side pinned up with an orange whirlpool badge, his bangs still a bit long and hanging in eyes that were hidden behind deep yellow, circular glasses.

He was standing almost a foot taller, making him almost six foot, a far cry from his former five-two stature, something that made him the shortest, but now tallest, one in his class. Broad shoulders seemed all the more angular thanks to a heavy maroon jacket that hung down to just past his hips, cut at sharp angles that accented his lean frame, something clearly built for speed. The sleeves, shoulders and sides of the thing sporting wide, thick bands of steel to help guard any vita spots even as the collar was left high to hide his features should he need. Black, slightly baggy pants that seemed the standard for the higher ups of the shinobi ranks covered his legs, taped at the ankles to keep them from getting caught on things, but giving them a wide flare at the same time. Heavy maroon boots with steel toes largely finished the look, but that wasn't what was drawing the attention of the mob.

No, it was the fact that the jacket was left open, and no shirt could be seen, letting the teen show of a chiseled frame that stole the throng's breath.

After a full minuet of standing frozen the group seemed to swarm, their once organized state lost in a sea of lust as a roar rolled throughout the village.

"NARUTO-KUN!"

Yes. Naruto Uzumaki, the apparent dead last of the academy, had to deal with something that only a handful of others in all of the village's history had to contend with, the bane of many a man.

Fan-girls.

Iruka's days could only be described as one thing.

Taxing.

First came from the brooding boy that was currently sitting in the front row to the far right by the window. The boy was maddening, at one point he had been rather normal, if driven, young boy. However, after the slaughter of his clan the boy had changed, becoming cold and uncaring for his classmates, driven only to improve to the point of singularity that was almost chilling.

With him, came the true bane of his existence.

His fan-girls.

This lot was something that frustrated him to no end. Despite all their best attempts these girls were somehow hanging on. It wasn't that they were trying to discourage them from being ninja, it was simply that they were doing it for all the wrong reasons.

Going to an academy and joining the military to impress and marry a boy? It was ludicrous to even consider such a thing. Almost every one of them was dead last when it came to the practical, but being that they could, largely, try and study while they watched the Uchiha train they were keeping up on the written tests and quizzes, thus keeping them from being dropped from the program. If a few would at least apply that knowledge to the medical field then perhaps they would at least make decent doctors when all was said and done, but instead they were learning new ways to either sneak around, but not practicing it, or looking into clan and village laws that they could use to potentially force him, or at least allow him, to marry one, if not more than them.

It was maddening.

There was, however, a silver lining among his gloomy days. Two young girls that had risen above the others. One Hinata Hyuuga, and one Tenten Faye-Ling. The former was the heiress of the Hyuuga clan, the closest that the village had to royalty, and had been groomed from day one to be the next clan head. For a time it seemed as though the young girl would be trapped in a crippling shell of shyness due to an incident when she was younger, however, it seemed that their rather recent transfer student had befriended the young girl and had helped her return to the world, as it were. The latter, Tenten, was apparently his friend as well from when they were in the same class together. She had graduated the year before, but her actions in the school had helped inspire a new generation into working hard and ensuring that the newly joining kuoichi hopefuls were going to be powerful, much like how Tenten had been inspired by the legendary Tsunade. Though Tenten was lacking in strength and speed, the young woman's accuracy and skill with weapons was unheard of, and proficiency with seals could only be called astounding.

Indeed, they were the light in the dark for him.

However, at the start of this year, they had received a new student, one that had surprised him at first, not due to who it was, he knew better, but the effect he had on the bane of his teaching career. Despite the fact that he was clad head to toe in outlandish orange and bore odd green goggles, for some reason the vapid little things were drawn to him like a moth to a flame, much to his cringe.

It was truly bizarre behavior, until he walked into the room there would only fight over the Uchiha, then, as if my magic or some form of odd genjutsu, they would fixate on Naruto, all but two.

Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka.

Two of the worst. Ino, he was happy to say, at least tried at the practical tests, possessing a few of her clan jutsu and even one he had spied her trying to create from scratch that had to do with her hair, something he was hoping may turn out like the legendary Jiraiya's hari jizoo, if she could, then there would be an actual use for that long hair.

Sakura, she was the definition of fan girl, her photographic memory and perfect chakra control allowing her to go far in this school, mostly thanks to the civilian council's insistence on making the paper tests much more weighty than they were in years past.

He suspected the girl's mother had a hand in it.

The sound of wood scraping ad the dull thud of the sliding door echoed through the room, as well as the soft gasps of the class.

Speak of the devil…

"Naruto your la-"

His breath caught, the blond teen looked like he had been through hell, and somehow came out of it _better looking_! His outfit had suffered a number of tears, it was smeared with dirt, his hat was lopsided and his slightly tanned body was littered with lipstick marks, bits and hickies.

Yet his grin was something that seemed to infect the room.

"Sorry about that Iruka-sensei, had a little trouble getting to class today…Though I think I got a new submission to Icha-Icha…"

Iruka could feel a slight tickle of chakra coming from the teen's cloths, the dull glow of seals that seemed to be blended with the stitching, letting the garments knit themselves back together, something that most ANBU would use for their uniforms to keep them from wasting pay on such trivialities.

Tenten must have helped him.

It was a strange grouping. Despite the number of girls that seemed to try and, very nearly, outright molest him on an almost daily basis, he seemed to only truly care for a handful of girls in the village. A small collection of ANBU that had been his guards over the years, harkening back to the days before the female half of the village populous seemed to try and protect him…or more likely possess him…there was also the odd little girl that had run around with him whenever her families merchant caravan had been in town, Nel. Then Ayame, the young girl who ran the ramen stand that he, Naruto, and as of late more and more village women, had been close to the boy, almost as soon as he could walk. Hinata he had a strange connection with, something very hush-hush that they weren't allowed to talk about, so many had learned to stop pushing, the boy saw her as a little sister, she the big brother. No more, no less.

Tenten was something of a wild card, one moment they would seem like bitter enemies the next almost as close as lovers. Again, he stopped asking questions. They would train together, eat together, even for a time lived together. He didn't think that he had a closer female friend.

However, right now, he was dreading the potential rush that was going to be coming. Naruto's new look, finally dropping the henge and going shirtless…

This did not bode well…

The hungry stares.

The flushed faces.

He had to deal with this on the street, he had to deal with it at home…he just wanted to be able to go to 'work' and escape it if he could.

Luckily, he had an ally.

"Good morning Hinata-chan." His voice was something that really seemed to throw the people in the class, they didn't know if it was the henge or if Naruto was just good at voice control, the art they had learned in the second year of classes. Now his voice was much deeper, that whiney quality long gone, replaced with a dusky growl, sandpaper on velvet to the girls of the class.

She gave him a warm smile, , "Yes it is Naruto-kun. How'd you get away this time?"

He let out a chuckle, the act sending a chill up the spines of many a person in the class, a part of him noting, much to his amusement, that a few guys seemed to have the same reaction. "This time? A smile and a wink."

She laughed aloud at that, shocking the people in the room, they had heard giggles, but never something like this from the normally quiet girl. "Ok, I don't think that even you could pull that off."

He gave her a wide smile, longer than average K-9's flashing in the light, "Oh? Wanna bet on that?"

She held up both hands, waving him off, "No! No, that's fine, last time I tried to bet you in something I had to leave my jacket at home for a week…" Her voice dropped, "Kiba-kun still won't leave me alone…"

His glasses seemed to flash for a moment, "Hinata-chan, if he tries anythi-"

"H-He w-w-won't, h-his s-s-s-s-sister w-w-would k-kill him, and t-they wouldn't dare to go against the clan."

Naruto couldn't help the smile at the sudden stutter. It was rare, but there was always one thing that would set her off, her horrible, irreversible crush on Kiba's sister, Hana.

While it was only a few, small circles that knew it. The night of her attempted kidnapping so long ago had been thwarted by two people before Hiashi, her father, arrived on the scene. Namely, himself and the recently-made-genin, Hana Inuzuka. The two had met he was six and she had recently been inducted into the academy. He had seen the ten year old girl earlier that day doing her best to keep her brand new partners, three ninken, corralled in the park and they were, quite literally, pulling her every direction they could. He had moved in and tried to help and ended up with a new friend.

Nel-chan was right, if he was nice, and helped a girl, he would make friends.

However, it was when the odd group was walking home that night, Naruto doing what the Hokage's assistant, a massive man named Tagar, had said was the 'gentlemanly thing' and walking her home, when they had seen the shadowy figure with a squirming sack over one shoulder.

They weren't fools. You see a suspicious man with a sack in the dead of night, he's up to no good, and with Hana first being an Inuzuka with a fierce sense of loyalty to her village, second being a new academy recruit full of confidence…though her mother would later just say she was full of herself…and lastly being brave and up for adventure, she acted, Naruto close behind.

Really, it had been an utter fluke that they had even survived. Later they had found out that the man had been a chunin from Cloud that was intending to kidnap the young girl and use her to breed a new generation of Hyuuga for their village. While she had been most greatful of both Naruto and Hana, the prospect of rape had terrified the young girl to the point that she simply couldn't even consider such a relationship with a man. Instead, probably one of the most odd crushes in village history had been born. The heiress of the Hyuuga clan was head over heels in love with the heiress of the Inuzuka clan, and for the life of everyone involved, they couldn't believe that Hana couldn't figure it out.

Naruto had done what he could to try and get his oblivious friend to notice, or at least get Hinata brave enough to admit it. At first Hiashi had been mortified, if not outright furious at the prospect, but after Tsume had gotten done with the man he had relented.

That discussion would go down as one of the great mysteries of the village. Though Naruto suspected that a _lot_ of alcohol was involved.

"Hinata-chan, believe me, I know the Inuzuka can be, the males are especially thickheaded, if he tries anything, you let me or Hana-chan know, well…talk to the boy."

She gave a small squeak and tried to vanish into her coat, _'Me…talk to Hana-chan…no…I couldn't…but, if I did…and she…and I…with the collars…'_

Naruto, as a reflex, scooted his chair away from the sudden perverted giggle that tore from Hinata's throat.

'_Note…never give her an idea…'_

The day had passed largely uneventfully for all involved, though one more Naruto had to hide himself from the female populous come both break and lunch time, again it was all very normal for him. He and Hinata had eaten on the school roof, Tenten having dropped by to say hello before she had to play catch-up with the rather bizarre team she had been put on had once more ran off. Apparently her sensei had been a _massive_ training nut, to the point of letting them do only the necessary missions to be allowed for the next rank or attempts at different certification exams before he put them back to the grind stone. About the only missions he would consistently let them go on were anything that took them out of town, apparently believing that real world experience and hard work was far better than the initial team building phase that most fresh genin teams had to endure.

Missions that were otherwise known as 'D Ranks'.

Naruto could only hope that he got a sensei like that when it came time for him to graduate.

When their meal was finished the duo moved back into the school, however, the next 'normal' thing for the blond had happened.

A 'roadblock'.

It happened whenever they would be spotted. The girls would try and congregate in order to ask him for a date, or make some kind of comment on how cool he was, anything to try and garner some bit of affection from him.

He honestly wouldn't have minded if it was because they had liked him, but it seemed that whenever he had tried to ask _why_ they were interested they would just draw a blank, or worse, cite his looks, and now that he had dropped his henge it seemed that even some of those from the classes above them were interested.

Was that a teacher? The one that taught flower arranging?

He couldn't stop the shudder that ran through his frame.

Hinata, on the other hand, looked almost giddy.

Oh yes, when she had confessed to her crush on Hana years ago to him they had worked out another little deal. He wouldn't tell Hana, but Hinata had to keep the different girls away from him.

By any means necessary.

The gentle fist's palm and finger strikes, surprisingly, are quite a good way to find out how the other girls…measured up…

Again, she giggled, "Are we going to do this again ladies?"

One girl stepped forward, a slight blush adorning her features as she swept purple hair behind an ear, "You've stopped us before Hinata, but this time we have some backup!"

She grinned, "Oh Amy…you shouldn't have…I've always been…curious about some of the teachers…Thank you."

"Wha-"

"You are within my field of divination…"

Naruto ran, he didn't need to see this again….

The remainder of the day passed as normal, though any of the girls were sporting blushes that simply would not leave them, and or once it was not due to the male blonde that would normally fill their thoughts.

With a grin Naruto offered his hand to Hinata, the girl happy to loop her arm into the crook of his elbow as he headed out of the school and made a snaking path to the little family owned ramen stand that he loved so much, though it may have been for the company more than anything at this point. At one time it was the only place that would ever allow him to eat there, however, as his apparent popularity grew so did his ability to eat at other places, and thus his pallet became a bit more refined. Though that may have also been due to Tagar. The giant had a habit of enjoying rather exotic teas and food stuffs while he and the Hokage would share their daily chess games.

He had to admit, it was one of the funnier things he had seen growing up. A massive man, almost twice the size of any of the other ninja in the village, arms the size of some of the trees from the Forest of Death, sitting in a rather small chair, moving very small pieces as he sipped at the tea and partook of the Hokage's rather fine tobacco stash.

The ramen however, despite the wonderful company of happily gibbering Hinata, a slightly blushing Ayame, and a thoroughly exhausted Tenten, had been rather tasteless. The noodles seeming to lack their normal tenderness, seeming almost like rubber. The beef stringy, the miso spoiled.

He had a bad feeling that it was happening again.

You see, ever since Naruto had been young there were certain times that he seemed to get sick. The doctors couldn't explain it. The best diagnostic jutsus short of Tsunade's own revealed nothing.

Medicine only seemed to make it worse, indeed, it seemed his best option was simply not to eat at those times, or should he try he knew it was going to be coming back up.

Still, he put on his happy face, causing both Tenten and Ayame to blush a bit, though that grew almost five fold when he removed the sunglasses and reviled strange eyes to the group. He still had his normal, enthralling blue eyes, things the color of the sea he was told. No, that wasn't the strange thing, it was his pupils, long slashes not unlike cats, or the Inuzuka, were in place of his pupils, but even they were not quite as normal as the nin-ken clan, no, rather than black his were something of a burnished gold, not unlike a soldering sunset.

When she saw them even Hinata had blushed, making the teen laugh long into the night, quickly reminding her that he had indeed defeated the throng of fan-girls that day with but a smile and a wink.

When the meals were done, and he had escorted the two women home the smiles faded, the light seeming to vanish from his eyes.

He knew he was in for pain tonight, and a lot of it.

With a groan Naruto half crawled back to his bed, collapsing just before he reached the comfort of the soft mattress. It had never been this bad before…

For the last four hours he had been worshipping at the porcelain throne, it felt like he had retched out everything he had eaten in the past year until, about an hour and a half ago, it had run out and he was reduced to dry heaves.

Times like this, one longs for death.

Succumbing to his body's cramp, exhaustive state his eyes slowly began to close, a part of him knowing that the next day was going to thoroughly suck, between the racking hunger, cramps, and the aches he knows he's going to have from the odd angle of sleeping propped against his bed…

Playing hooky was sounding good.

Unknown to him, just as his head was beginning to droop to his chest, two figures landed on his balcony, the worn structure giving slightly under the combined weight.

They bore cloaks not unlike his watchers from earlier in that day, though now they were black as midnight, two sets of glowing, purple eyes the only thing to give an observer an idea of what lay beyond.

"It's happening faster now…"

The other stepped forward only to have a pale hand lash out and grasp the other's shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. "No, you did it last time, it's my turn."

The first seemed to growl but stepped back, allowing the other to cast open the door and move silently in, the cloak only seeming to move with the wind, giving the illusion of the being floating.

Carefully the figure stooped and gathered up the teen, placing him back onto the bed before pulling the sheets up to his neck, pausing only a moment to gaze upon him, as though admiring his almost nude form.

The pale hand snaked out once more, carefully brushing his bangs from his forehead and simply seemed to watch him for a time, drinking in his appearance, savoring the soft half snores and small whimpers that filled the room.

The hand hovered for a time, seeming to luxuriate in the feel of his hair before gently, almost lovingly, moving down to stroke his cheek, rewarding the figure with his whimpers dying slightly as he unconsciously nuzzled the palm.

"We're almost out of time. Admire him later."

The figure stiffened slightly before stooping one more, the hood of the cloak falling forward further and hiding their faces, after a moment a dull glow swept through the youth, his a dull yellow while the figure's was the same purple of the eyes. However, what any passerby would notices was the loud, lust filled moan of a woman washing over the street before it drew back, the two exchanging a glance before seeming to blur out of existence.

Upon the boy's pale lips, were now the heavy red marks of full, painted lips.

Hidden away from prying eyes five cloaked figures stood in a loose circle, the last to arrive melting out of the shadows and causing all side conversations to cease.

"Report."

"Things are progressing faster than we thought, upon observing him today we noticed the following had progressed to the point that he was forced to remove his illusion to distract them and allow his escape. After the school had let out he had gone to eat with two friends and, after walking them home, proceeded to void himself of the food he had eaten."

Another of the figures, this one seemingly smaller, slighter spoke, "Was he dealt with?"

"Of course. How are things on your end?"

"They are going well. I have placed myself on a team and…convinced the sensei to take us to the chunin exams. At that time I will arrange for my return properly, properly as an ambassador to this village. Will Naruto be ready by then?"

This time the tallest of the group spoke, the voice seemingly far more monotone, but like the others still possessing a measure of the seductive. "If his cycles have indeed sped up then yes, he will be ready long before the exams begin, we will simply have to bide our time for now. Our reunion is less than a year away...

The group nodded, a level of tension fading from the room. One to the right of the monotone figure was the next, this one seeming to have a higher voice than the others. "What of the snake…"

"He suspects nothing, totally confident in his superiority that the planned invasion will be a success. However, his advancements in his curse seal is alarming, he is getting close to properly fusing demons with the hosts, and has already completed a preliminary version of his immortality jutsu. As it stands he must transfer every three years, but every experiment brings him closer. I'm going to monitor the situation and if I see an opportunity I will sabotage him. Already I have ensured that the one with blood of a bone devil is too sick to be of use, though not too far gone to bring back should we desire."

"Keep us apprised…Naruto should be safe from such a thing, but if the sharingan or rinnegan fall into his hands then all may be lost…How goes Naruto's training?"

One of the two late arrivals answered, "It could be progressing better. His illusionary techniques are commendable, and his skills with weapons and speed are remarkable, however, it seems he lacks the ability to channel enough chakra for proper ninjutsu, and his strength is rather…lacking. However, when pitted against Ragna he is impressive for his age. I have little doubt that, should he desire it, that he could slaughter his entire class with a blade alone. However, as we all know, the boy is to kind for that."

"And the situation with the women?"

"Not so much as a date. He has many female friends, however with the numbers that come to him he seems desensitized to it, and does not respond to many, if any, advances. There is some debate as to whether or not it is just a picky nature, or strong will. I am inclined to believe the former. These things chasing after him would be absolutely _foul_ mates. Hardly worthy to feed on…"

"I see…we need to keep each other posted on these changes, the snake and Naruto's progress are of paramount importance. We will meet in one month's time unless we are summoned. Until then…remain vigalent, and endure, we will be together again with mother soon…"

With that, seven figures faded to nothing.

Light streamed through snow white curtains, immediately filling the room with light and causing the room's only occupant to groan in pain, the first thing he heard being the moan's echo and the dull beeping from the heart monitor. A single crystal blue eye opened slightly before clenching shut once more, the teen rolling over and burying his face into a pillow, willing the sun to vanish.

No such luck.

After a few pained moments he heard the door open, accompanied by a very feminine giggle. "Oh my, you're up already, that great, how are you feeling?"

Blue eyes appeared to lock on the fore of the curvy doctor, her odd style of dress hardly phasing him in the slightest, the woman had been his personal doctor for almost eight years now, and he had long sense stopped blushing at the rather…unique clothing she bore.

Long, midnight black hair was gathered onto one side of her head in an odd, high ponytail, a small panda clip holding the strands together and making you think that her head should be at a permanent tilt from the weight alone. Even in the ponytail her hair reached her ankles with ease, the ends of the collection held tight with a large, circular ying-yang symbol.

Black sleeves trimmed in gold and, about mid-upper arm changed to blood red, as they connected to the collar, the shoulders left bare as the surcoat was left with only the buttons at her navel to be fastened, showing a startling amount of cleavage and exposing what looked to be a thick, black bra. The odd top itself ending at about the tops of her hips and linking to a red skirt of sorts. Really, it seemed more like a loincloth in a way, or a simple hip-wrap like some of the girls that swam in the lake would wear to cover bikini bottoms.

He was no fool, he knew the reason she wore the skirt that she did, it allowed for almost unlimited mobility if she ever needed to fight, he had seen firsthand once what those long, creamy legs were capable of. She had a longer cloth wrap that she would often wear with it for when she was lingering at home, or tending to her private clinic, but, but when out on the town, or in the hospital, it was usually removed or slung over one arm, letting her move about all the easier. I wasn't surprising to him, she was an uncommonly tall woman, standing very near his own height, and a good bit of that was leg, making normal skirts or pants either inaccessible or simply impractical. To that end, he knew, she ended up making a good bit of her own clothing. The only real reason he knew she had a panache for making clothing was due to the number of times he had needed his jacket repaired.

"Sore…Doctor Litchi, how did I get here?"

She gave him a soft smile, a gentle, motherly tone soothing him, "My little Tenten went to see why you hadn't shown up for the morning _practice_, she found you passed out in bed and wouldn't respond. You were very pale and dehydrated when you got here. Tell me, did you have another episode?"

He gave a small nod, a blush on his face, "S-She had to see me…didn't she?"

The woman gave another giggle, "Yes, but I wouldn't worry, you have nothing to be ashamed of after all."

His blush grew, this was one of the few women that he really respected, well, of those he knew well. He knew that the female ANBU and Jonin were impressive, he just didn't know them personally. "P-Please don't say things like that Faye-Ling-sama."

Her grin faded to a small scowl, "I told you not to call me that."

"S-Sorry Litchi-chan."

A radiant smile overtook her features, "Much better Naruto-kun…Now then, it seems that we've gotten you hydrated properly, we have nutrients into you, so it seems that whenever you're ready we can get you discharged, and don't worry, I kept the nurses out of here, so your virtue is intact."

That made the teen wince, he could only guess what would happen when he tried to leave today and spotted the hospital staff and worse, the villagers. As she left he tossed the sheets aside and rose slowly, his joints protesting for a moment before giving a series of shuddering pops that had him immediately let out a sigh of contentment. Taking a steadying breath, and cursing the cold floors, moved to the closet. Opening it he almost immediately slammed the door, a full blush adorning his cheeks.

The door cracked open just wide enough for a head to poke in, "Oh, by the way Naruto-kun, I took the liberty of choosing a few outfits that I thought would work best for you, no need to thank me…"

Her haunting laughter could be heard, if barely, over the sound of him hammering his head into the closet door.


	2. Perversion

Disclaimer: All rights belong to their respective creators, were merely borrowing the characters for a bit of fun.

AN: Yeah second story ever posted on my account WOOT! Thanks to my buddy Psudocode Samurai we are now making a joint effort story, which means we post a chap from each of us for each update. I am going to have fun working on this. Now where did I leave my soda...

Any way this chap was made by me with help from Psudocode Samurai. So read, review, and drool.

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Naruto silently growled as he snuck out through the window in the clinic clad only in a pair of pants that he had found., Litchi was a nice woman and a great doctor but she had the oddest hobby that scared even Tager. She liked to dress people up in different costumes, the only one who seemed to be able to escape this fate was her adopted daughter Tenten who took after her deceased father and had what man would call, but never to her face, a weapon fetish. Naruto had once seen her room all four walls were decorated in weapons all polished and in top form, hell even a few dangled from the ceiling.

Naruto as a rule never let Litchi dress him he learned the hard way after she dressed him in some strange costume that left him in short shorts and wearing clothing more suited to a girl. He swore after that day to never let Litchi dress him, _ever_. That was one experience he never wanted to repeat. He shuddered when he had heard the massive fan girl squeals as they charged screaming "Kawaii!"

As he continued to creep through the village trying to stay hidden knowing his fangirls would swarm if they even caught a glimpse of him shirtless and clad only in a pair of pants, underwear just wasn't comfy for him. Though if women found out things would grow ugly for him rather quick, he had enough trouble keeping them off of him but if they all went for his pants then things would get messy. He shuddered at the thought before he kept going he knew the fangirls staked out his house so he needed to do the next best thing, he would seek refuge with someone who helped him out a lot in the past.

Naruto knocked on the door cautiously looking around making sure no fangirl saw him as he listened to the heavy footsteps before the door opened to a man larger than life.

_10 minutes later_

"So let me get this right, Litchi after one of your medical episodes you woke up in Litchi's clinic and she tried to dress you again?" The man asked. The man was Tager Konoha's 'Red Devil' as the bingo book called him but though for all his power and might Tager was more for making ships in a bottle then fighting which was why he enjoyed his job as the Hokages aid, with Tager's keen mind the Third could finally defeat his long hated foe... paperwork. Tager's house was modest in taste with a large chair and a book shelf filled with books all of which Tager took an interest in.

Naruto sat across from Tager on a small cushioned stool which Tager occasionally used as a foot rest dressed at some close he had left at Tager's in case of an emergency, with rabid fangirls it was a regular occurrence., they sat across from one another chatting and eating some pastry Tager had gotten as they drank tea. The humor of this massive man sipping tea was a humorous sight but man said nothing for fear of him. Naruto of course knew Tager would never hurt anyone unless they truly deserved it, it just wasn't his nature. Naruto picked up the book laying on the coffee table and gave the title a look before raising an eyebrow at Tager "Seven's Heaven? Tager Sensei isn't this porn?" Naruto asked before Tager shook his head "No its romance and while it is a tad descriptive in its content it has a nice story and characters, far better than that smut Icha Icha."

Somewhere a white haired pervert sneezed alerting the girls in the hot spring to his presence.

Naruto shook his head as he headed down the street after eating with Tager and taking his leave since Tager would be going to assist the Hokage with the day's paperwork. Now he had a conundrum go to the academy or skip for the day and get chewed out by Iruka either way. He sighed and headed towards the Academy knowing it would be best to get it over with.

Iruka was in the middle of lunch when Naruto strolled up to the Academy he cast his eyes around looking for Hinata but was rewarded with Tenten spotting him and waving as she jogged over. "Hey Naruto how you feeling?" she asked with a smile "You have to be feeling better if Mom let you out of the clinic." she said as Naruto grinned and nodded

"Yeah but she tried to dress me up again but I escaped and got a change of clothes from Tager." Tenten laughed at the thought of Naruto running to Tager's house clad only in a pair of pants.

"Did you even take the underwear?' she asked only for Naruto to wink "You know I don't wear underwear it makes for easier access." Tenten fought the urge to blush at the thoughts of Naruto and friction and the end result. Naruto saw the flush and grinned, one of his favorite hobbies was to flirt with girls who weren't in the fangirl category, girls like Tenten and Ayame. It was almost as bad as his addiction to ramen or sweets which he kept secret. He didn't flirt with Hinata since she was too much like a sister but other girls were fair game.

"Careful blonde or I might just take you up on your offer someday." Tenten mock threatened as she grinned seductively, two could play this game. Naruto just smiled "Oh so you want to see what's in my pants?" he asked with a chuckle "Fair warning, the last fangirl who got a peek passed out from a nosebleed." he stopped as if something came to mind.

"I think I am stronger then one of your pitiful fangirls." she said with a light shove "Of course with the way the blush around Hinata they might just be converted to her fangirls."

Naruto laughs "I can live with that, frees up my time for girls that matter." he said with a grin his fingers interlaced behind his head. "Maybe if your nice to me I might let you into the club." he said pulling down his sunglasses to give her a wink causing her to shiver slightly.

Tenten had to distract him from charming him or she might take him up on that offer, question was did she really want to stop? That's when she noticed something "Hey is that Hinata?" she asked, partially glad for the distraction and partially wanting to grab him and drag him off to a more private location.

Naruto turned and saw Hinata staring intently at the wall, her Byakugan activated. Naruto and Tenten walked over, curious and when they were close enough they heard a strange 'clicking' they noticed Hinata making the sound by snapping her jaws together. She had a slight blush on her face before Naruto gently pulled Tenten away "Isn't the girls showers located past that wall?" he asked which confused Tenten. "Yeah but I-" she stopped as the pieces fell into place which made her blush "Hinata is a perv." she mumbled causing Naruto to laugh.

"Yeah she does have some bad hobbies, I was at her house once and trust me she has stuff in her closet that would make Ibiki shudder."

Tenten looked at him confused "Isn't Ibiki the..."

Naruto nodded "Yeah he is the head of the Torture and Interrogation at the Anbu headquarters." he said with a grin "Little secret, but Hinata is into leather and latex." Tenten blushed deeper which made Naruto laugh loudly "What, picturing Hinata in a dominatrix outfit?" he asked and Tenten shook her head "I pictured..." she blushed and glanced at him "You... in... leather..pants." she finished a little blood trickling down her nose.

Naruto gave her another wink and leaned close his warm breath on her making her shiver "I'll get a pair if that's your reaction, course I think they are those assless chaps one of the fangirls sent me." he said with a grin before nipping her ear. Tenten's brain briefly shutdown at images of naked Naruto.

"Tenten?" he asked waving a hand in front of her face "To much? Hello, Tenten? Do I have to pinch your cute ass to get your attention?" he asked before reaching behind her and giving a sharp pinch with no reaction. She lunged at him knocking him to the ground her lips mashing against his ferociously as she ground her hips against his. Naruto didn't even hesitate and started kissing back his hands cupping her ass and squeezing as they continued to make-out.

"As nice as this is you two shouldn't be doing this in public." a voice said making the two look towards it, there stood Kurenai who smirked slightly. "Though I must say I didn't know Tenten had it in her." she said with a wink.

Naruto grinned as Tenten flushed crimson "Well Kurenai sensei maybe next time we can invite you?" Naruto said with a smile as Kurenais eyes flashed slightly as her smirk widened into a seductive grin "Might take you up on that offer lover boy." she said before walking off. Tenten and Naruto got to their feet ignoring the collective staring from their classmates. As they got to their feet the bell sounded for the end of lunch. "Well Tenten, time for class, so when can I expect you to attack me next?" he asked but Tenten gave him a glare "Just because we made out doesn't make us a couple Naruto."

Naruto chuckled at that and shook his head "You and me? Nah I would say more like friends with benefits." Tenten flushed at that definition and gave him a light tap on the head "Shut up, I may make out with you but don't expect me to drag you off to bed anytime soon." she growled

Naruto laughed "No your more like the type to take me in front of an audience." Tenten flushed and wacked him again, she never hit him hard it was more of a love tap "Get to class and tease your fangirls." she said as Naruto started off "Yeah but they aren't as fun." he called over his shoulder.

When he arrived back in the classroom he noticed Sakura glaring at him along with a few of the male class. Naruto ignored them and sat next to Shino who was one of the few people he enjoyed being around. "So Shino how are the projects?" he asked, he and Shino had a strange friendship, Shino and him often enjoyed the companionable silence that they had but they did enjoy chatting, Shino especially when it involved one of his bug projects. "Very well I may be able to breed a new subspecies of insect within the month."

Naruto nodded his head slightly "What have you been going for?" Shino turned his head slightly towards Naruto and made the smallest twitch meaning Shino was smiling ever so faintly "A may be able to breed a poisons version of the kiri beetle, a single sting should be potent enough to kill a full grown adult." after he finished explaining more in depth details he and Naruto settled into the normal silence they enjoyed.

Not to long after Naruto noticed Shikamaru walking towards him "Hey Naruto, think you can get that guy Tager to play shogi with me?" he asked. Naruto knew enough about Shikamaru to not take his lazy act seriously Shikamaru's eyes were far to analytical to be lazy. "He doesn't play shogi to often he plays a game called chess but if you ask he would defiantly teach you, its kinda like shogi." he said and Shikamaru nodded before going back to his seat.

Naruto leaned back in his seat and pulled from one of his inner pockets a small bag of candy, caramel was his flavor of the day. Iruka stood at the front of the class and smiled slightly when for once they  
directed their attention to him without him having to strain his vocal chords. "Well class its almost here the graduation exams are only a few weeks away and then some of you will become Leaf village shinobi and the ones who fail can try again next year." He said inwardly cursing hoping that the fangirls who  
fail wouldn't be his problem next year. "Now class we will be doing a little brushing up on the information that will be on the written part of the exam." he said as many students began to open books or pull out notes, Shikamaru and Naruto both laid their heads down to get some sleep.


End file.
